Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize