Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
