i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
