WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize