Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
