i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
