Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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