So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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