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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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