Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
