i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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