im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
