I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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