I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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