I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
