Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize