we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Randomize
