Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
