Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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