I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Randomize
