she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
