FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
