and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
