how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
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