Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
