Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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