walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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