all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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