Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize