Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
one two three fourrrrnication!
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
