I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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