I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Only a mothe r could love this liver
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
she peed on how many people?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
