I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize