I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
