dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
