so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Bring me that man meat
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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