I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
