i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Randomize
