He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
