is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
