i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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