wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
