I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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