we're chasing vodka with high fives
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i dont even know how to be here
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
