Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
one two three fourrrrnication!
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
