shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
