he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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