I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
