Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
