Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
