that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
