he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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