we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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