I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
