Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize