toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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