If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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