It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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