On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
