Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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