proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize