My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm both gender and math confused
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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