She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
