ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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