Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
