is your mom at the bar?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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