i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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